Black Sheep June 9, 2008

I have lost 16 pounds since the end of February.  Eight of those pounds were lost over 3 months on Weight Watchers.  The other eight?  Well, do you want the short answer or the long answer? 

 

The short answer, you say?  The answer is…diet pills.  Now before you all tsk tsk me to death, let’s hear the long answer, shall we? 

 

The Long Answer:

 

About three years ago, there was a woman whose son played on my son’s baseball team.  She was about my height and weight and being the two chubby moms on the team, of course we became chatty.  After baseball season, her son went to a different team so I didn’t see her often after that.  I ran into her last summer at a friend’s birthday party and was surprised to see she had dropped about 50 pounds.  I asked her what she had been doing and she just said that she got serious about losing weight and was very careful about what she put into her mouth.  She told me if I ever wanted to talk to her about it I could, but of course I never called her, although I thought of her often over the next several months. Then I ran into her about a month ago at a department store, and told her I really wanted to sit her down and ask her exactly what she did to lose the weight and keep it off.  She confided in me that she had started by seeing her doctor and he prescribed her an appetite suppressant.  She took them for only a short while, until she got started losing, and then she got off the pills and is now just watching what and how much she eats and she is doing very well. 

                When I had my blood work checked a few weeks ago, I was lamenting to my doctor about how I wanted to lose weight, and he said he could put me on a program. I told him I would think about it, and get back to him. After talking to my friend and seeing her results and how she has kept the weight off for over a year now, I decided that I would give it a try. My doctor is a very close family friend, who has known me my whole life, so I trust that he is not going to give me anything that would harm me. I am on a very low dose of appetite suppressant, along with some damn good vitamins (my hair and nails are growing like crazy!), and a high protein eating plan.  I go in once a week and the nurse in charge looks over my food journal, and we talk about how things are going. The food plan they have me on is similar to South Beach, so I’ll get to add the good carbs back in to my diet soon, which, thank God because I’m getting really tired of chicken and salads! 

                I am also learning how to cook. I mean, I am learning to cook real vegetables and real meat, not just opening a box and reheating the processed chunks of whatever is in there.  I always tend to take the easy way out when it comes to cooking – the faster and easier the better.  Now, I am learning to plan ahead and spend a little time on the meals, and (are you ready for this?) I find that I actually sort of like cooking.  I have always thought of meal time as drudgery, but when I am cooking foods that actually taste good, I kind of enjoy it.  Who knew? 

                Honestly, I attribute my weight loss to my new way of eating, more than to the pills.  For the first time in my life, I think I am getting enough protein and I am eating more veggies than I ever have before, and I feel really good.  I am also working out more and that has given me more energy. 

So why didn’t I just stick with WW and learn to eat from that?  Well, I feel like, for me, there was a little too much freedom on WW.  Protein is not really stressed on WW, and sometimes it can be high in points, so I think I would avoid it so I could keep my points low.  I found myself turning to the low- point, overly processed foods to fill me up, which were usually high in carbs, and so did not fill me up for very long.  I was also eating more junk food, because hey, you can have anything on WW as long as you are within your points.  I could have two slices of pizza and a few Chips Ahoy cookies and still be in my points range, but I didn’t feel like this was very healthy.  Not that I am banning those things from my diet forever, but for now, I am better off staying away from them until I can eat them in moderation, and not feel like I need to face plant into the middle of the package. 

I will be very honest here and say thinking about writing this post has caused me much anxiety over the last few days.  When you tell people you are on diet pills, they always make that face, you know the one that says, “Oooohhh, bad idea. Don’t you know any better?”  Diet pills are the black sheep of the weight loss family, and they have a really bad rep, and everyone says that once you go off of them, you’ll gain all the weight back.  I thought that too, which is one reason I have never tried them before, but heck, I lost 25 pounds on WW three years ago, but I gained it all back, so does that mean that WW doesn’t work?  No, it just means I didn’t learn anything from it and went back to my old bad habits. 

I am giving the pills and the new eating plan a shot because I feel like this is my chance to learn how to do it right.  This is my chance to learn how to cook healthy foods, this is my chance to learn how much food I need, not how much food I THINK I need.  This is my chance to see that there is life apart from junk food, and there is much joy to be had without sugar.  This is my chance to see if I can challenge myself by walking faster and farther than I thought I could. 

                I didn’t want to tell you all what I was doing because I was afraid of what you all would think.  But it’s my blog and I wanted to be accountable and it’s just too hard keeping anything from you guys!  So here I am baring my chunky little soul to all of you and hoping that you won’t tell me that I am being naïve or stupid for doing this.  I feel good about my decision and I have not had any ill effects as of yet, and please do me a favor, and DON’T write me telling me all of the bad consequences your friend’s cousin suffered from being on diet pills, or how I am going to start growing hair on my chest, or that I’ll grow an extra limb or something.  I am fully capable of Googling all the effects of the pills myself, if I should choose to do so.  It’s very hard to maintain a weight loss blog and NOT be able to talk about how I am losing, so I knew I would have to come clean eventually. 

I have lost 8 pounds in two weeks, and I fully expect the loss to slow down a bit now, but that’s okay.  I’m on my way, and I feel good about it. 

So, there it is.  That’s the Long Answer, and I’m sure I’ll have more to add to it in the coming weeks.  And if you are still reading this epic novel of a post, thanks for hanging in there til the end, I appreciate it. 

 

Breaking up is (not) hard to do May 30, 2008

Happy Friday Folks!!

 

 

First off, wow – you guys have lots to say when it comes to chores!  I’m eager to hear more, so if you haven’t already, go here and leave me a comment on what you would do!  I have some ideas in mind for my own kiddos, but I want to see what happens when I run it past them, and then I’ll do a post about it next week, k? 

 

I’m still formulating Post #2 in my Changing My Thinking Series (that sounds like a title for an infomercial, no?), so when I can get some of my points a little more in order, I’ll post that too.

 

So what am I going to post about today? 

 

Well, here’s the deal.  I’m bored with WW…again. 

 

Going back to WW in February was kind of like getting back together with an old boyfriend – at first you remember all the good times and the fun you had and how it was exciting and new, and then after a while you remember why you broke up in the first place.  It just isn’t working out. 

 

I don’t know why, but I always fall into the trap of eating the crap that has the most artificial sweeteners in it, and then 2 and 3-point snacking my way through a whole day’s worth of points.  And it doesn’t matter that I go over my daily points allowance, I just write it all down and keep going over!!  So I think it’s better if I get out now, instead of hanging around to see if it’s going to get worse.   I’ve done this often enough that I know my heart really isn’t in it, and plus I can use that $40 a month on something really important, like shoes.  

 

So what will I do now?  I’ve got something in the works, but I don’t want to go into it right now.   Still have some tweaking to do before I lay it all out on the table, ya know? 

 

So, (I start off a lot of my sentences with that don’t I?) in lieu of Changing the World!, here are some pictures of animals in unnaturally disturbing garb. 

 

Have a good weekend!!

 

Weird.

May 9, 2008

I just did something weird. I chose an apple over chocolate graham crackers for my midmorning snack.Yeah, I know, I’m destined for greatness, right?

 

Anyway, I got my copy of Pasta Queen’s book yesterday and promptly sat myself down on my couch and ignored my family to Chapter 7. So far, I’m really enjoying the read. She’s funny and insightful and there have been several places where I’ve thought to myself, “hmmm, yes I agree” and “BWAHAHAHAHA, that was freakin great!!”
I think when I finish reading it, I’m going to go back and re-read it and highlight those passages that I find especially inspiring – there are quite a few. I highly recommend the book.

 

I haven’t been tracking my food very well (read: at all) this week, but eating hasn’t been out of control, although I’m certain I have gone over my points on a couple of days. I’m not sweating it though because I feel really good right now. I don’t feel bloated or heavy or yucky, so I think that the eating better and walking consistently are helping (duh).

 
So here’s the latest ponderance (is that a word? Well it is now) rolling around in my brain: twice in one week, two people have questioned my need to lose weight. The first was the hubs – I was lamenting how hard it is for me to lose weight and he said, “But you still look good. I like the way you look.” I know – I swooned a little myself! The second person was my boss. He is on WW and has been losing weight, so I talk to him sometimes about it. I mentioned getting my thyroid checked to see if that is why losing weight is so hard for me, and he said “is that why you got your blood work done?? Jill you are not big!!” Okay, no maybe I’m not 300 pounds, but I am still 40-50 pounds over my healthy, normal, happy weight. To me, that is a lot!! Granted, I carry most of my weight in the lower half of my body and you better believe I cover it well, but still, I am on the obese side of the BMI chart, and that does not sit well with me. (I know this sounds like I talk about my weight to other people all the time, but these were rare, isolated incidents when the topic happened to come up. Just wanted to clear that up.)
I just find it rather odd that 2 people (okay men) would say that. Are men really that oblivious? My ass cannot be ignored, people – it’s pretty freakin big – so why question my decision to lose weight? I’m probably over-thinking this, but just thought I’d throw it out there for you all to chew on (the question, not my ass. I don’t like getting my ass chewed).

 

Okay one more weird thing for Friday, and just to warn you, it might be TMI: I just stuffed my bra, and not for the usual reasons. It’s getting warmer here in the great state of Oklahoma, and so my need for jackets and sweaters is no longer, um… a need (I should reword that, but I don’t feel like it). So now it’s short sleeved shirts and I feel rather exposed…when a cool breeze comes my way…in the breast area…specifically the very middle of the breast area. Do you understand what I’m trying to say here? Okay, well let me put it this way: (whispering) I’m nipping out! 
And when you work with 6 guys that can be a bit embarrassing for everybody. So I went into the bathroom and I folded up some TP and stuffed it into my bra, to help minimize the nippage. I think it’s working, but really, I need some advice here. How do you all handle it when the “girls” stand at attention?

 

Okay, enough weirdness for one day. This weekend, since it’s Mothers Day, I plan on doing only the things that I want to do, Laundry Mountain be damned!! I hope you all have a great weekend and I hope you get lots of Mom’s Day treats, even if you aren’t a mom!!

Take me to your leader April 29, 2008

I went to a different WW meeting than I usually go to and can I tell ya – WOW!! What a difference!! At my usual location, the leader* is nice- she is in her mid 60’s and kinda funny in an “I’m trying really hard to be funny” kind of way. The room where the meeting is held is very large and there are usually only about 15 people there and everyone sits in the back. No one feels very comfortable talking so it’s usually quiet. Not very motivating to say the least. And there is one receptionist who is…well… she’s just plain weird! I don’t know how else to put it. She is one odd duck. Plus, Tuesdays are hard days for me to go because my son plays baseball EVERY TUESDAY AND THURSDAY FOR THE NEXT 3 MONTHS, *sigh*, so I don’t always make it to the meeting, or if I do, it is because I have to move heaven and earth to get there. So I decided to try a meeting in a nearby town (I live right in between two smallish towns) that is only 10 minutes away from my house.

 

LOVE. IT.

The leader, can I just take a minute to tell you how awesome she is??? She is in her late 40’s, tall, long dark hair with a style that I covet, and totally cool! Think Cher, but in a good way. She had on these very cool wedge heels and lots of silver bangle bracelets and glasses that made her look smart yet aloof. She was very laid back, but really into what everyone had to say. Very engaging. I think I may have just the slightest hint of a girl crush on her!

The members of the meeting were very chatty and offered suggestions and it made the class that much more interesting. There was one overbearing, obnoxious woman who had to comment loudly about everything, but there’s always one, isn’t there?! Other than that I really enjoyed the meeting and will definitely be making this my permanent meeting location. I left there feeling motivated and ready to put all my effort into it. Such a good feeling!

As far as weigh in, well I think we all know how that turned out. I gained 2 pounds, but I totally expected it, so I’m just going to go into denial about it and pretend it never happened. I’ll lose 3 pounds this week and be back on track – you watch me!

Hope everyone has a good day!

* I hate using the term “leader” – it makes me think I’m in a cult or girl scouts or something. But that’s the lingo, so I guess I’ll have to get used to it!

The challenge is challenging April 23, 2008

Okay Debby – you caught me. I have been purposely avoiding talking about TL’s challenge because frankly, I’m sucking at it. Am thinking of quitting because the suggested mileage per week is 42.Think about that for a moment…42miles PER WEEK. SEVEN DAYS to walk 42 miles.

That’s SIX miles per day. Every day. Every week. For many many weeks!! Wears me out just thinking about it.

I’m doing good to get in 10 miles a week (last week was 8). When I signed up for this, I knew I wouldn’t be able to do 2 hours of walking every day, but I thought, “this will be fun and it will get me motivated to work out every day, even though I’ll be a little behind everyone else.” Key word in that sentence is *little*. I’m not just a little behind, I’m waaaayyyyyy behind everyone now.

So maybe it would be better to bow out now, and just keep going at my own pace and do my own little challenge in my head. I don’t know.

I’m this close to dropping out.

In other news, there is this radio commercial running right now for a tanning salon. The woman doing the voice on the commercial sounds like a really bored, deep voiced Romanian woman and she’s talking about the freaking news. I think there may be some joke to this, but it’s over my head. Anyone have any idea what this may be about??? It’s completely annoying and I may never go to this particular salon just because of this commercial. Not that I go to tanning salons – my lily-white legs can attest to that, but if I were to go, I would not go to this particular branch of salons because I find their commercial to be a kin to fingernails on a chalkboard. I’m just sayin…

Weigh in yesterday was not bad, but not good either. I stayed the same this week. Still sitting at 179, but I’m really not surprised I didn’t have a loss. Too many *one bite of this*, and *just a taste or two of that* went on all week. So I’m going to try to be extra careful about tracking this week and getting all my water in. And oh yeah, more walking. I need to start taking some vitamins and supplements – what do you all take? I know I should be taking calcium, and a multivitamin, but what else do you all recommend?

Off to do more work – YAY WORK!!!

An apple is a poor substitute. April 21, 2008

Awhile back I posted on the WW message boards that half of one puffy coconut-marshmallow covered Snoball tastes just the same as a whole one. With the added bonus of fewer calories.Today someone brought chocolate sheet cake to work. The kind with the pecans in the chocolate frosting. The kind my grandma used to make for every birthday.

I had a very very small piece of it.

That was four hours ago and I have not stopped thinking about it all afternoon. I keep telling myself that it isn’t going to taste any better or worse than it did when I had my teeny tiny bite of it earlier, and it wont. This is the only thing that has kept me from scarfing the whole plate at once. I have incredible restraint, no?

In reality, I really really really REALLY want a very big giant humongous piece of that cake and I want to eat it like there’s no tomorrow! I want to keep eating cake until I am satisfied and bloated and miserable.

But I’m not going to do that. Because I have incredible restraint. And also because I have built that cake up in my mind so much that there’s no way it will taste as good as I dream it will taste. And besides, I’ve already had some, plus I have weigh in tomorrow and my desire for smaller numbers on the scale outweighs my desire for the chocolate heaven that beckons me from the break room.

I will not eat the cake. I will not eat the cake. I will not eat the cake.

And just in case you were wondering, no, an apple does not taste like chocolate cake, even if you want it to.

Better today April 16, 2008

I was so down yesterday morning, but by the afternoon I was starting to feel a little better. Then after work yesterday I found out that we are getting a big fat refund on our taxes! So fat that my husband said I could take about $800 and go buy myself a bunch of new clothes!! I said “really? Are you serious???” to which he replied, “Yeah I’m serious! You deserve it!” Holy Shoe Shopping Batman!!! I already have a list made up and the day that money gets deposited, I shall go to the bank and withdraw my fun money IMMEDIATELY and hit the stores! I am one of those moms who always puts everyone else’s needs before my own, so if (and that’s a big IF usually) there is extra cash, it goes towards the kids or things for the house or whatever random bill happens to pop up. But I am already planning on being totally selfish with this money!! With this refund we are also going to be able to pay off some debts, like the hospital bill from when I had my third child THREE YEARS AGO!!! That will be such a relief to get that off our backs, so YAY REFUND!!!
There was something else great that happened yesterday, but now I can’t remember what it was…oh yeah – weigh in!! I lost 1.4 pounds bringing my total to 7 pounds lost. WooHoo!! Considering its TOM, and considering the amount of crap I ate on Saturday, that’s pretty amazing stuff. I think the loss comes from all the walking I’ve been doing every morning – hey, this exercise stuff really works! (Thanks TL!)
I have a stealth plan to get some strength training in during the work day. Usually they guys will pop in my office unexpectedly, so I’ve been a little gun shy about doing any kind of exercise in my office, for fear someone will walk in and see me on the floor huffing and puffing through a sit up. However, (here’s the stealth part) they take a break at 9:00 and again at 1:30, so for 15 or 20 minutes they are occupied with their coffee and talk of the big game or the big fish or the big truck or whatever big thing they happen to be discussing, so that is when I will squeeze in a few crunches and some push ups, maybe even a squat or two! Completely brilliant plan, right? I thought so!
Okay, gotta get to work! Have a great day everyone!!

Wow. Just Wow. April 9, 2008

Okay so yesterday was a little off for me. Really, thanks so much for all of your pep talks and great advice and ideas. I am feeling much better today after a good night’s sleep and a ride on the treadmill this morning. I appreciate ALL of your comments and can I just tell ya how much I feel the love??? You guys are the best!!
I just want to give a shout out to all of you who commented and to let you know, of course I read them everyday, but yesterday you all really gave me what I needed:

Dschnabel – I feel like you gave me a great big hug!

Laura – from you I got a slap on the butt (in a football kind a way) and a Go Girl You Can Do It!!! =)

Alicia – you live in my head most of the time, I think we were separated at birth!! I am going to try cooking things ahead of time and freezing them – I love that idea!

Vicki – have you ever thought of writing a book? Because you have amazing knowledge of this stuff!!

All of you have given me more than you will ever know!!

I didn’t make it to my WW meeting last night because the little one was one cranky kid and I just didn’t have the energy to fight the battle and the hubs wasn’t home yet, so we just stayed home and made chocolate chip cookies. Not a great swap, but a good time was had by all. I may try to find another meeting this week to go to, because I would really like to go, but I don’t know if it’s going to happen.  We’ll see.

 Layta taytas!!!

The biggest workout loser April 8, 2008

Okay, guys, here’s the deal. I am a loser when it comes to the workout. I just plain suck at it. These last couple of days, or nights I should say, have been rough. Sunday night I got very little sleep because the little one had a tummy ache all night, thus I did not get up and do my time on the tread. Then last night…the storms…oh the freakin storms. It thundered and lighteninged* and hailed and rained ALL. NIGHT. LONG! I got precious little sleep last night as well, but when the alarm went off at 4:45, I seriously was going to get up, but with all the electrical activity outside, I questioned whether or not it was safe to be on an electric treadmill inside. Looking back now, yeah, it was sort of an excuse, but I decided to sleep for another 45 minutes and then see if the storm had passed. I reset my alarm and the storm did indeed pass and that’s when I went into a full-on coma. I don’t even remember hitting the snooze button, but when I woke up, I was seriously late. So again, no workout this morning. I will try to fit it in this evening either before or after my WW meeting, since it is more than likely that tonight’s baseball game will be rained out (God willing).

I find myself heading into a WW slump. The honeymoon phase is over and I find myself bored with food lately. I eat the same things every day because they are healthy and I know the points values, and so I feel they are safe to eat, but there’s gotta be more out there than turkey wraps and yogurt! What are your go-to lunches or snacks? I need some new portable ideas for taking to work or the ball field. Does anyone have a cookbook they use regularly? I seriously need to jazz up my diet.

I am very tired so everything looks bleak. I question whether I have what it takes to stick it out and lose this weight. I scoff at myself when I think that I want to exercise to become a regular part of life. Seriously, I read your blogs and I see how much you all are working out and all the running and the classes, and number of workouts every day that you all do and I just really don’t know if I can hang with all of you. I feel like the bulldog trying to run with the greyhounds!!

Well, anyway, I have a ton of work to do, so I guess I should get started. Things will look brighter after I have a nap or a good night’s sleep, whichever comes first.

* is this even a word? I realize lightening is not a verb, but if you can say thundered, why can’t you say lighteninged? Any grammar snobs out there want to clear this up for me? Thanks!!

 

Yeah, Baby!! April 2, 2008

Woo-freakin-hoo!!! I lost another pound at weigh in last night bringing my total to -5.6 pounds!!!! So, a five pound loss for March is good considering I am shooting for 3 pounds per month – hey, I’m ahead of schedule (for now!).

And now, a letter to the 3 nurses who sat behind me at my meeting last night:
Dear Three Amigas
I’m glad you are excited to be doing Weight Watchers and I am jealous that you have friends doing it with you, however, I would just like to inform you that it is not necessary to comment on EVERY LITTLE THING the Leader says (yes, woman directly behind me, I’m talking to you). This meeting is not a time for you to have a personal conversation with the leader, and although I’m glad you feel you have so much to offer, really, please just SHUT IT already. And while I’m offering you this meeting etiquette instruction, it is also in bad taste to whisper loudly to your friends about how many 2 Point Bars you can eat in one sitting. I find it hard to concentrate on what the leader is saying when you are stage whispering about how good your lunch was today and discussing the EXACT ingredients that went into it. I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels this way, judging by the number of people who kept turning around and looking at you. So in the future, when you see me sitting across the room as far away as I can get from you, yes, you can take it personally. That is all.

Sincerely,
Annoyed