Focus, Jill, Focus! December 30, 2008

I am eating the biggest, sweetest, juiciest orange right now – yum! (That has nothing to do with today’s topic, but a good sweet orange is one small thing that makes me really happy!)So much to blog about but having trouble getting my thoughts in order, which incidentally is what I want to blog about: Focus, or lack thereof.

I don’t remember why the thought popped into my head, but I just remember thinking a couple of days ago, “I’ve been so focused on Christmas and all it’s preparations that I have let everything else slip by the wayside.” And that’s when, my a-ha moment hit me – my focus determines whether or not I succeed. I have not been focused on losing weight since October. I have not been focused on exercising since then either, so it shouldn’t come as any surprise that I have gained a few pounds since then. I haven’t gained a lot – maybe 6 pounds, but I know 6 pounds can turn into 12 pounds very easily, unless I am focused on reducing those original six. For me, it has nothing to do with motivation or will power, it’s all about focus. When I was losing weight so steadily at the end of the summer and beginning of autumn, I was single minded about the kinds of foods I was eating and how much I was walking. Since then, eh not so much, and it’s starting to show. Also gone is my weekly weigh in with the Nurse Nazi – that was very motivating! I think to replace that, I will start posting my weight here for you all to see. Probably not the actual number, but I’ll post what Mary Lou says on a certain day of the week, let’s say Wednesdays (so don’t let me forget!). When I got The Platform I recorded my starting weight the Monday after Thanksgiving weekend, so of course it was higher than normal, but I got to 8.5 pounds below my starting weight, which is I think what my normal weight really is (around 153). This morning Mary Lou said I was only 2 pounds below my starting weight, which would put me at about 160 approx. I know I can get it back down fairly quickly just by getting on the treadmill and drinking lots of water (duh), so I’m not worried yet. We’ll see how the rest of the week goes.

And speaking of the treadmill, my poor motorized friend is feeling neglected lately, so I am going to make a pact with you all that I will walk for 30 minutes tonight at 5pm CST. (I was going to add at least 4 times this week, but let’s take it one day at a time, shall we?) Here’s what I need from you all – I need a consequence to face if I don’t walk. Yeah, yeah, I know the obvious ones – lack of energy, tighter pants, etc; but what I want is something like push ups or scrubbing the toilet or some unfun thing. So fire away and hit me with your best shot – I need to know there will be unpleasantness in my future if I don’t abide by the pact. Desperate times call for desperate measures, people!

I am also considering logging my food into an online journal. Seeing what I eat in print may be enough shock to make me leave Candy Land, but logging food tends to bring The Crazy out in me, so I don’t know. Maybe I should just start with an old fashioned notebook and just record the foods (and not their calories and nutritional content)? Still mulling this one over – may have to mull a little longer. What do you think?

(Abrupt subject change in 3…2…1) And speaking of cooking (what? Weren’t we?) I made the best pita pizza last night for dinner. I had a multigrain pita with marinara sauce, mozzarella cheese, turkey pepperoni, black olives and mushrooms. Oh Sweet Gouda it was so good! I may have to have another one tonight. I think one thing that will make me a better cook is to have a stocked pantry – it’s really hard to cook when all you have is a can of peaches and one can of tomato paste in the cabinet. It has never occurred to me to buy ingredients, I just usually buy prepackaged or pre-made foods, but I know that’s not good to rely on those things so much, so I went to the store last night and bought a few things like chicken and beef broth, cream of mushroom soup, olive oil, canned beans- just a few things to get started. I hope to add to these things again this weekend so that I’ll have enough ingredients on hand when I find a recipe I want to try. Anyone have any other ingredients that you can’t live without?

That’s all I got – have a good day gang!! 

ETA – I did it!!  I got on the treadmill for 42 minutes – woo!  Sorry Laura, I’ll never tell my most embarrassing secret!!! 

Hard March 27, 2008

Because of The Challenge, I got on the treadmill for another 2 mile walk last night, and about 10 minutes into it, I thought to myself, “This is hard.” Then I had these thoughts:

~No, trying on a size 16 bathing suit in a cramped dressing room with bad lighting is hard;

~Trying to find a pair of jeans that fit over my bubble butt is hard;

~Waiting until the lights are out before getting undressed in front of my husband is hard;

~Hoping my 11 year old son’s friends don’t tease him for having a fat mom is hard;

~Looking at my 7 year old daughter and hoping she doesn’t turn out like me is hard;

~Dreading my high school reunion NEXT YEAR because I’m a good 60 pounds heavier than I was in high school is hard;

~Being fat is hard;

2 miles on the treadmill – PIECE O’ FREAKIN CAKE!!

I can make myself thin, thankyouverymuch!! March 18, 2008

Hello! I’m here – just been busy with work and life. This afternoon is weigh in day, but with all the rain we’ve had since last night, I don’t know if I’m going to make it to my meeting or not. If my street isn’t flooded, I’ll go; otherwise I’m keeping myself at home where it’s warm and dry.

Not much to talk about, I’ve been on the treadmill four times this week. I consider that a small personal victory, and next week starts Tigerlilly’s challenge. I’m excited about it and also just a wee bit nervous, but it will be fun I think. You have until Monday to sign up so join me – the more the merrier!

Did anyone watch that show “I Can Make You Thin”? I saw just the first few minutes of it, but what I saw wasn’t anything new. From what I can tell, it’s about learning to eat “intuitively” and I have already been there, done that, don’t care to do it again. I recorded it on the dvr, so I plan on watching it all the way through and I’ll let you know what I think when I do. So far I just kind of think it sounds like an infomercial!

Well friends, that’s all I got for now. Have a good day!

Less than stellar February 1, 2008

Well, I had my first crappy run last night, but there were lots of strikes against me before I even stepped foot on the treadmill. I ate more dinner than I had intended, so I was still pretty full by the time I ran plus I wore my sons hiking boots all day yesterday because of the snow, so my feet were already a little tired from lugging those around all day.  I had my running shoes tied too tight, and my socks were bunching up inside my shoes – that is sooo irritating!! I was wearing my Spanx because every pair of undies that I own were in the washing machine – great for smoothing the bumps, but not so great for running. I had on only one sports bra so I had to deal with the girls bouncing all over the place and the music on my radio just seemed slow and unmotivating. The run was hard and I really really really wanted to quit after about 5 minutes, but luckily the Drill Sergeant was with me and she totally would not let me give up – I can tell she is going to be a thorn in LazyGirl’s side! So I finished the run/walk – 32 minutes total and usually I am pumped after I run, but this time I was just tired.
I know I will be better prepared next time and it will be awesome when I run again. My next run is planned for Saturday – I think I need a rest tonight.
That’s all I got for today – have a great weekend y’all!

The Day After November 1, 2007

Last night I did not do 15 minutes on the treadmill.  I did 15 miles of trick or treat treasure hunting instead! Okay, maybe not 15 miles, but good merciful heavens we walked. A LOT!!  Add to that the 30 pound toddler I carried who refused to walk for half the time and I believe I got in a pretty good work out.  We were with a bunch of friends, and it was not too cold, so all in all we had a pretty good time.  I was surprised at the number of houses that did not have porch lights on.  When I was a wee little munchkin, every house in the neighborhood had lights on and was ready and willing to give out candy, but this year there was just a smattering of houses with goodies to give away.  Of course the price of candy now is getting extreme, so I really can’t blame people for not wanting to devote half of their paycheck to giving candy to kids who probably don’t need it anyway.  I know of one family who spent $70 on candy to give out.  SEVENTY DOLLARS!!! That to me is unreal.  But hey, whatever floats your boat I guess.   I ordered a couple of things from Amazon yesterday.  I should mention right here that I LOVE Amazon.com.  Sort of a junior high crush kinda love really, but love nonetheless.  Anyway, I ordered the DVD Just My Size Yoga and the book When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies.   The former, because watching the skinnyminnies on Namaste Yoga makes me feel fat and clumsy, and also I’ve heard this DVD is really good for clueless yogis such as myself; and the latter because I have heard only good things about this book.  I do want to stop hating my body for the way it looks and I think I’ve come far, but I need some more inspiration.   Just one food mention here:  my son dutifully donated his unwanted M&Ms and a couple packs of Whoppers (how do I love thee? Let me count the Whoppers), and he gave me a pack of M&M’s Dark.  I was especially looking forward to these because I love dark chocolate.  So I popped about 3 m’s in my mouth and started crunching away.  I have to say, I was disappointed.  Something about the candy coating did not go well with the dark chocolate.  I don’t know exactly, but it wasn’t pleasant, so I put the pack away and will most likely end up throwing it in the trash.  And I did not raid the kids’ candy buckets last night – I had one tiny pack of peanut M&Ms and one small Butterfinger and that was it – I promise.  Not because I was restricting myself, I just didn’t want anything else last night.  I applaud myself for listening to my body and not forcing it to eat just because it was Halloween and that’s what you do.   Highly unusual for me, but I’m doing a happy dance to celebrate, and I kinda like the idea of applauding myself – I may do it more often!  Wow this post turned out longer than I intended, so I had better wrap it up here.  Happy All Saints Day!! 

BOO! October 31, 2007

Yesterday I did another 15 minutes on the treadmill – I think I’m on a hot streak!  I really wanted to go faster and longer, but more than that, I really don’t want to go ALL OUT!! and then fizzle after a few days like I have in the past. So I forced myself to do only 15 minutes and go sorta slow.  After the treadmill, my newfound inertia led me to clean my kitchen and pick up a little around the house.  So I guess it’s true what they say, “a body in motion” and all.  I have heard that exercise gives you more energy, which to me seems kind of backward.  Exerting energy gives you more energy? Huh?  Anyway, I’m not going to question it, I’m just going to accept it for what it is.  I’m so tired of being tired all the time, so I hope working out will help.  That is the main reason I want to get fit – I need more energy.  I probably won’t get any treadmill time today but I figure all that trick or treating that I my kids will be doing tonight will give me plenty of walking time!  And speaking of Halloween, I’m strangely calm about it.  Usually I freak out about the flood of candy that spills onto my living room floor about 8 pm.  Typically I am on a diet at this time of year and have to battle the angel and devil on my shoulders – the angel telling me to be a “good girl” and not partake of the creamy milk chocolatey goodness, but then the devil usually wins out and I dive head first into my kids trick or treat bags.  This year, though, I’m not dieting and so I’m not freaking out.  I’ll probably pick the M&M’s out of my son’s bag (he doesn’t like M&M’s – he’s a freak of nature), and I’ll eat a couple and be done with it.  At least that’s what I’m hoping will happen…we’ll see.