The Fear – it drives me. May 19, 2009

So, I had a revelation this morning. I was browsing the forums on Calorie Count and the question was posed: “How do you reward yourself for your weight loss efforts?” There were a lot of the same answers – massage, new clothes, mani/pedi, etc, but there were also some really different ideas too, such as the woman who pays her 10 year old daughter to keep her on track with work outs. She pays her daughter $10 a week to remind her to work out 5 days a week and track her cals 5 days a week. Other people said their reward was knowing that they did a certain number of work outs in a week and still others didn’t use any rewards at all. A few people said they base their rewards on the number of times they worked out, instead of on the number of pounds lost, which I thought was really smart. You can check out the whole thing here.

A reward system doesn’t really work for me, especially if it involves the spending of money. I’m a cheap frugal gal and usually by the time I have earned a reward, I don’t want to spend the money to get it. One time I set up an elaborate goal/reward system for myself that included a reward for every 5 pounds lost. I never did reach that first 5 pounds so I never got ANY of the rewards I promised myself. Dangling a bracelet in front of my face for losing weight just doesn’t seem to motivate me to get off my duff or to put down that cookie.

So what does motivate me? How did I lose 30 pounds last year? And what was that revelation I had this morning?

Thanks for asking! I’ll tell you.

As I was pondering the reward/motivation question, I realized that I am most motivated by fear of disappointment.

Wha????

No really, last year when I lost weight it wasn’t because of the appetite suppressant or the daily walking – it was because I didn’t want to disappoint the Nurse Nazi or the doctor who so very generously gave me a deep discount on the program. I worked hard because I didn’t want them to be disappointed in me. And along those same lines, I worked out 4 times last week and did push ups and crunches because I didn’t want to disappoint MizFit since I am on her team for the Woman Challenge. I don’t want to be the team member who doesn’t pull her weight (hehe) during this challenge.

I know some of you will say, “what about disappointing yourself, Jill? You don’t want to disappoint yourself do you?” to which I say “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!” I’ve disappointed myself so many times that I’m immune to my own disappointment of me (okay that was very bad grammar, but you get the point). Fear of disappointing myself is no fear at all; it’s a way of life. Yeah I know, I need therapy, but that’s what I’ve got this blog for right?!

The Woman Challenge lasts for another 7 weeks so I hope that I can keep the momentum going. I’ll have to come up with someone else to NOT disappoint after that. I need to exploit this fear to its fullest potential.

If only Jon Bon Jovi would issue a challenge to me, I’d be golden.

 

If you lose 20 pounds, I'll write you a song, Jill.

ask the pear March 13, 2009

It’s Ask The Pear day!!  So let’s get to it…

Our first question comes from Nicki: “How do you find motivation and will power when you get frustrated and start caving and want to give in?”Hi Nicki! Great question. Whenever I feel like I’m starting to cave and just want to chuck the whole thing, I remember how badly I feel when I’m not taking care of myself. I know for a fact that if I eat a lot of Little Debbies and spend my days with my butt welded to the couch, then I am going to feel like moss on a rock: slimy and gross. I don’t like how I feel when I do this and when I feel like this, then everything is affected. My self esteem plummets, I get tired and cranky, the husband and kids get on my nerves, etc etc etc, so it’s just better it I keep that in mind when I feel myself going down that slippery slope. Experience is the best teacher – you just have to remember the lessons (I’m pretty sure that last line isn’t original but I can’t think of where I’ve heard it before and a quick Google search didn’t turn up any solid leads – it’s still true though!)

My motivation for working out can come in a number of ways. Mostly I just know that I need to work out at least 4 days a week to feel really good, so I try to keep that good feeling in mind when I don’t want to work out. Also something totally random can motivate me: a song on the radio, remembering that my 20th high school reunion is only a few short months away (yikes), or wanting to wear a certain pair of pants that have been too tight lately. One thing that has really gotten me in gear happened last week, but I’m still feeling the effects: I was contacted on FaceBook by an old college boyfriend. This is the guy who not only broke my heart, but he shattered it into a million tiny pieces, stomped on it and let the pieces be scattered about in the wind. He is in another state, and I don’t imagine that I’ll ever see him again, but for some reason just the fact that he contacted me sent me into a panic, which has led to this feeling that I have to work out as much as I can as hard as I can. Maybe not the best way to get motivated, but I’m going to ride this wave of motivation for as long as it will last. When that wears off, I’ll find something else.

Also, when I really want to give in and have a pity party, I post about it here. Usually the supportive comments are enough to life me up and get me back on track. Never underestimate the power of the blogger!!

The second question is from my good buddy Laura: “Why do I have white flecks and ridges in my nail beds? Am I deficient in some critical nail mineral?”

Yes, yes you are. It’s called the Margarita Mineral and you must ingest at least one margarita per day until you have nails that can cut glass. Okay, that’s a total lie. This is a great question girl, but one that I’m going to have to do some research on, and by research I mean I’m going to ask my neighbor who is a cosmetologist who does nails for a living. After I talk to her and do a little more digging, I’ll get back to ya on this, k?

Third question is from my favorite quilter, Debby: “What is your favorite new healthy food, and/or what is your favorite low cal “fast food” or snack?”

I love this question because I love food. My latest favorites are protein smoothies – milk, a little ice, a scoop of vanilla protein powder, some dark sweet cherries (frozen) and a little honey. So freakin good I can hardly stand it!! I’ll usually drink that after a workout or when I haven’t had a lot of protein that day, and it really hits the spot. Sometimes I like to chew my snacks so an easy one is to mix yogurt with cottage cheese and some fruit. I like ½ cup vanilla yogurt, ½ cup cottage cheese, and whatever fruit I have on hand. Mix it all up and surrender to its creamy goodness! How’s that for “fast food”?

Thanks for the questions, gang! This was really fun and I hope you’ll keep em coming!

BRILLIANT!! (I mean you!) October 9, 2008

Thank you all so much for your comments on my last post.  You are all so smart and I loved every comment and got something from each and every one. 

 

Miz – you are so right about being wiped out at the end of the day regardless of what time I wake up in the morning.  And I really do love working out first thing because then I don’t have think about it for the rest of the day, so I am going to try and MAKE IT WORK in the mornings.  Oh, also, I totally don’t blame you for not running in the dark – who knows what kind of scary things are out at that time???  I won’t even open the garage door when I’m on the treadmill if it’s dark out!! Yeah, I’m pretty much a big baby.

 

Melanie – the word “acedia” reminds of the Acadia – the car of my dreams!!  I have been coveting this vehicle since my friend got one last summer.  As far as the acedia, the best way for me to get over myself is to get outside and be with other people; sometimes I just need the reminder, so thanks for that!

 

Crabby – Fake it til you make it is something that has worked for me in the past, and something I need to revisit again.  And can I just tell you that I got a warm fuzzy when you said “we’re pullin’ for you”? Well I did, so thanks!!  J  And Crabby girl, you don’t give yourself enough credit – your Remotivating post was/is excellent!!  I’m seriously printing it out and planning on rereading it several times today.  Thanks so much for the link!  Out of all the crustaceans, you rock the most!!

 

Laura – Dear, dear Laura – you my friend, are a freakin genius!!  I had honestly never thought about hitting it harder on the weekends and easing up during the week.  For some reason I have always had it in my head that I have to go 100 miles an hour M-F and then come to a complete stop Sat & Sun.  But your suggestion could actually work.  I think I could even do 2 days during the week and still be okay.  I’ve talked before about my all-or-nothing way of thinking and so a lot of times I think I have to work out every single day for at least 45 minutes and if I can’t do that then, well I just might as well not even do anything.  My logic is flawed, I know, but I’m working on it.  What I also love about this idea of weekend workouts is that I will have more time to experiment with different types of exercise – when you are limited to 30 minutes in the morning it’s hard to want to try something new.   This has me really excited and now I can’t wait til the weekend!  You da bomb. =)

 

Debby – You’re right about the habit thing.  I’m better about exercising than I used to be, but consistency is the one thing I still struggle with (obviously).  And I was totally asking myself what  was I REALLY looking for when I talked about being dissatisfied…I know it has nothing to do with blogging or workin out or anything like that.  I’m working on that too.    It scares me how insightful you are!!!  =)

 

Sandy – hey there, welcome to the Pear!!  Dang girl 4 miles every morning???  I’m in awe of you.  I definitely think that I need something new to explore and I really liked your idea of trying of something different for 3 weeks – that’s about how long my attention span is before I get bored!  Great advice, thank you. 

 

 

Whew!  I can honestly say that I am feeling so much better and I am genuinely excited to try out your suggestions.  I loves me some bloggers!!!  =)

 

Unsatisfied, dissatisfied,unsatisfication October 7, 2008

I sit here at my computer checking and rechecking all the blogs on my favorites list in search of…something.  I’m not even sure what I’m searching for:  motivation, inspiration? I don’t know.  All I know is that lately I am unsatisfied.  Maybe unsatisfied is not the right word…maybe apathetic? Not really, because I feel very strongly that I want to feel…something, I’m just not sure what that something is.  So I guess un-satisfied is the word (is it really even a word?) that is best used to describe my current mental/emotional state.  Blogging used to be a very satisfying experience for me, as was reading other people’s blogs (don’t get me wrong – I still love to read YOUR blogs) but the last few weeks, I just don’t feel the urgency to write/read like I used to.  How can I best explain this malaise?  Think of it this way, you know you want to eat something, but you don’t know what you are in the mood for, so you go from the refrigerator to the pantry and back again, hoping something will suddenly appear and you’ll say AHA!  THAT’S what I’m hungry for! Only, nothing pops out at you and so you wear a visible trail in the linoleum going back and forth between the fridge and the pantry.  

 

My intake of all things junky has jumped exponentially and in direct correlation to that, the number of workouts I have completed has dwindled.  I’m worried about this because as the weather gets colder and grayer, my desire to do anything healthy goes down the tubes, and I soooo do not want to regain any of the weight I have lost.  And it could happen so easily, I recognize that. 

 

Up until a couple of weeks ago, I was really consistent with my workouts and getting them done NO MATTER WHAT, and then Merry or Crabby (I can’t remember which one) over at Cranky Fitness asked the question “how do you stay motivated to work out” or something along those lines.  I was feeling empowered and rattle off my answer and from that moment on, I’m not kidding here, my mojo flew out the window.  And it hasn’t come back yet.  It’s like the universe said, “oh yeah? Feeling a little cocky are we? Well how bout we knock you down a peg or two!” and BLAM!  No more motivation.  At all. Anywhere.  I’ve eaten my weight in Cheetos and Oreos (and I don’t even like Oreos that much) and anything else I can get my hands on, and no I’m not even PMSing.  I know my lack of exercise is fueling my desire for sugar and salty carbs, which in turn makes me feel so sluggish that I don’t want to work out, etc etc etc.  It’s a cycle not easily broken, which brings me to the point of today’s post. 

 

Part of the problem is that I have only two windows of opportunity to walk.  Either I get up early in the morning (4:45 am) and do a 35 minute walk or I do it as soon as I hit the door after work. I have about 1 hour to get it done in the afternoon before the family demands set in, after that it ain’t happenin.  Lately I am so tired in the mornings, that I just shove my alarm clock under the covers so I don’t hear it, then I wake up in a panic and have to hurry to get ready for work.  If I decide to do it in the afternoon, I’m usually so tired by the time I get home that I just want to relax in front of Oprah and have a snack. 

 

Exercising at lunch time is not really a viable option because I only get 30 minutes for lunch and since I work in a refinery-type place, there isn’t a good place to walk. 

 

Wow, that sounds like a lot of excuses, I know, but really this is what I’m working with here.  So tell me, oh wise and all-knowing blogosphere, what do I do?  How do I overcome this?  Really if I could have MizFit come over, drag my azz out of bed every morning and direct me in a heart pumping workout,  that would be great (you don’t mind do ya Miz? Texas is right next to Oklahoma!).  But other than that, what would you suggest?  I want to hear from you on this one, so let’s have it, people!  Help a sistah get her mojo back!! 

154 September 22, 2008

Yep.  That’s the latest number to come out of the doctor’s scale on Friday. 

That’s also the number that I got down to 3 years ago before I face-planted into a pan of Neiman Marcus brownies and didn’t come up for air until 20 pounds later. 

Why the face-plant?  Well, that go-round, I had been losing weight for various “events” in my life: a family reunion, vacation, 10th wedding anniversary, a wedding, etc.   Then all of a sudden I was out of events, and hence, out of reasons to keep losing weight.   I just couldn’t find the motivation to keep going, and I was Just. So. Tired. of counting Points that when the holidays rolled around, I went Ka-ra-zee.  It started with Halloween and didn’t stop until January.  I stayed at around 167 pounds for a long time after that, until I toyed with intuitive eating and gained another 20 pounds earlier last year. 

This time, I’m not losing weight for anyone or anything, other than my own satisfaction.  I have to admit, it’s nice when something comes around that I know I’ll be seeing people whom I haven’t seen in a while (like last Thursday night’s high school football game – I still love it when people have that shocked look on their faces!).  But I’m not actively looking at my calendar thinking that I need to lose x amount of pounds in x amount of time so I can look good at such-and-such event (okay well there IS the 20 year reunion next year, but I’m not *actively* losing weight for that).  It feels good to just be going at my own pace and not worrying whether or not I’ll be at a mini-goal or whatever.  I’m not saying it doesn’t work, I’m just saying it doesn’t work so well FOR ME. 

I’m averaging a 4-5 pound loss per month (and it usually happens all in one week, weird I know), and I am totally good with that, so I’m going to stay this course until I get to my happy weight.  All I need is my treadmill, my big-ass bottle of water, and oh yeah, my skinny pills, and I’ll be good to keep going as long as I need to.

Don’t Tempt Fate August 4, 2008

I would like to tell you how great my eating has been and that I am kickboxing my way to the UFC title.  I would like to tell you all that carbs no longer have a place in my life, and that all this working out is causing me to have abs, arms and buns of steel.  I would like to tell you that I am practically perfect in every way possible…

 

But that would be a lie.

 

Why is it that when I post about being on track, the next day my train derails???  It’s like the Fates are coming at me wagging their fingers saying, “Ah ah ah…don’t tempt us, Jill.” 

 

Last night as I pondered all my wrecked intentions, I came up with these questions:

 

Why do I think that eating will make an upset tummy feel better?

 

Why do I think that eating will give me energy when I am tired?

 

Why do I think that eating will boost my cranky stressed mood?

               

Why do I think that eating will get back at everyone who pissed me off?

 

WHY DO I HAVE SUCH A SCREWED UP VIEW OF EATING??????

 

I actually had a really great weekend, not that the tone of this post so far reflects that,  but my little family spent the whole day Saturday at a spring-fed creek where the 65* water felt like heaven in the 105* heat!!  I’m not kidding; we spent like 7 hours at this place and had the best time.  We grilled hot dogs and had all the usual day-at-the-water type food.  Even though I brought some good healthy options, I gave in and consumed 2 of those frosted soft sugar cookies and a bunch of Pringles chips.  Of course I felt like crud afterward, but that didn’t stop me from ordering a dip cone from the local (and I’m not kidding about the name here) Pig-N-Out ice cream stand.  It wasn’t even that good, but I ate every bit of it anyway.  That brings me to another “why” – why do I think that something will taste better if I just keep eating it???  I’ve gotten better about this one, but it still creeps up on me from time to time. 

 

Sunday we took out a second mortgage on the house in order to buy school supplies and back-to-school clothes for the two oldest kiddos.  They start school in about 10 days, so I’m glad we got that out of the way.  I don’t know why I am always so surprised at how much we spend on this stuff, but every year I am flabbergasted.  I just kills me to have to buy things like batteries and tennis balls and Ziploc bags for school.  (Insert cranky old man voice here) Back when I went to school all you needed was your cardboard cigar box and a Big Chief tablet and a pencil!!  Maybe some Elmer’s glue and a box of crayons and you were good to go!  My soon-to-be second grader had to have 48 pencils – FORTY-EIGHT!!!!!  Good night, how much writing can an 8 year old do???  Is that one pencil for each week?  But I digress…

 

Gets off soapbox…

 

Anyway, all that shopping must have triggered my binge button because I consumed every sugar-laden, carb-loaded snack I could find in that house.  And I didn’t stop until all the stupid Froot Loop cereal straws were gone!!  Those things are evil – way too addictive for me. 

 

So, how to get the train back on track?  I think I need to do some reading about emotional eating – that sometimes helps me shake me loose of the cycle.  There is one book that I like by Linda Spangle called “Life is Hard, Food is Easy” that I like to re-read when I get all emotional-eaty.  She’s got a grounded, real life view of why we eat emotionally and she even has some really good solutions as well.  She has another book too called “100 Days of Weight Loss” that gives you tips and tricks to staying on your diet – whatever diet you may be on.  I think I need to look that one over too. 

 

So the plan for this week is to work out 4 days this week, and read my books and do the best I can.   I also need to plan a menu for this week’s dinners – that really cuts back on my stress level if I don’t have to think about what’s for dinner.  I’m also thinking of buying the Wonder Woman cuff bracelet – but not wearing it until I reach my goal. The more I think about it, the more I really want it!!  If I wait until I reach my goal to buy it, I’ll end up not buying it at all, but if I get it now, I can dangle it in front of my face like a carrot.  Super-extra motivation, if you will.   

 

I hope you all had a great weekend, and if you are a regular lurker (my blog stats suggest far more people are reading than are commenting) please delurk to let me know how you handle a derailment in your eating/work out plans.   Or even better, how do you stay consistent when life throws you a curve?  Here’s your chance to put your 2 cents in. 

 

Have a great Monday!!

 

ETA: sorry for the lack of linkage, but I’m feeling rather lazy today!

 

 

Go Girl Go January 30, 2008

After reading your comments and a few other blogs, I channeled my inner Drill Sergeant and made her kick LazyGirl off the couch and onto the treadmill. It was 9:30pm and I had the dishes done and the kids in bed and I knew that if I didn’t at least do something, I would be bitterly disappointed in myself again, so I decided to do a quick run before bed. I did a really brisk 5 minute warm up walk, and then I ran 5 minutes at a faster than normal pace, just to prove to myself that I could do it, then a 5 minute cool down. It was AWESOME. For those 5 running minutes, I kept telling myself to push it and to not give up. At the top of every minute, I told myself “you can do anything for 60 seconds!” and I did that 5 times (thanks L!). I really feel like I broke through a mental barrier last night with that short but sweet run. I feel like I am back in the game now and ready to do some serious biz.
Food-wise, I have been trying to watch my calorie intake and I am learning some very valuable lessons. I did okay yesterday until after work when I just kinda went berserk. My crazy binge finally ended with a generous portion of brownies and ice cream. It sent my total over the edge of oblivion!! I realized that if I want to lose weight, EVERY BITE COUNTS!! Eating four pieces of chocolate is not so bad, but 4 pieces of chocolate, 3 pieces of cornbread, 2 big bowls of ham and beans, 2 ridiculously small WW chocolate cakes, and a huge brownie topped with 2 scoops of ice cream is not conducive to shedding the pounds. None of those things would be so bad if they were consumed over the course of a few weeks, but when you have them all within a few hours, it really sends a plan spiraling down the drain. However, today is a new day and today’s plan includes really paying attention to what and how much I put in my mouth. And do I even really want it?? I didn’t want the WW cakes, or the brownie and ice cream, but there they were, so I ate them. Crazy!
But like I said, today is a new day and my newest personality, the Drill Sergeant, and I will be doing a fabulous run tonight and eating will be an example of sanity and health. Go go go!!

Making the decision January 29, 2008

I used to think that thin women had it made. I used to think they just jumped out of bed looking great and no matter what they ate, they would always be thin. Then a few years ago, I joined a gym and it didn’t take long for me to realize, thin women are thin because they work at it. Hurray!! It was so freeing to know that I wasn’t left out of some exclusive thin club – if they could work out and look good, so could I! But when I worked out for weight loss, it felt like drudgery. It was hard and torturous and I never got the results I was looking for (40 pounds lost in 3 months). So I got discouraged and stopped going to the gym. Can you say all-or-nothing???
I have always aspired to be a runner. Runners to me are just awesome. Continuously running all that time without stopping – wow! And lately I have been running a bit – a very little bit, but still running. However in the last few days I have lost my running mojo – that thing that gets me excited to run every day. I thought that to be a real runner, (here comes my all-or-nothingness again) one had to start running and run for 3 miles without stopping or walking. I also believed that most runners just jumped out of bed at 6am and were totally thrilled about running. A natural gift, I assumed.

I now know the error of my ways.
And I know God is giving me a little mojo help.

I checked out several articles on the Runner’s World website where celebrities were interviewed about their running. Come to find out, most of these celebrities had to make the decision every day to run. They had to work at finding time to run and had to give themselves incentives to run everyday or several times a week. And some of them admitted to being slow (that did my heart good, I tell ya!) and taking lots of walking breaks during their runs. Whodathunkit? You mean I can still be a runner if I walk a little too?

And then I checked out Tigerlilly’s post today and guess what it’s about – DETERMINATION. Making the decision EVERY DAY to do this thing. She’s a peach!And Laura gave me some wise words as well – go check out my previous post for her comments. Perseverance was one word that stuck out to me, as well as the idea of being consistent over time – not just looking for one single prize.

So, I guess that fighting my battle means making the decision everyday to fight – to fight the urge to put it off, fight the excuses that seem so important, fight the LazyGirl living inside me. To be determined to fight and persevere – EVERY DAY. Even if I don’t run everyday, I can still feel like a runner everyday. I can feel healthy and alive and vibrant and beautiful with or with out weight loss, because running does that for me. But I can only feel that way if I don’t give up.

Why, hello Mojo!

Battle January 29, 2008

I am the youngest of 3 girls. My two older sisters are 9 and 10 years older than I am, so essentially I had 3 mothers while I was growing up. Someone was always telling me what to do or how to do something, or doing things for me because it was easier than teaching me how to do them. I grew up thinking that things would just sort of take care of themselves, or work themselves out because they always did (at least in my little world- it never occurred to me that someone else was taking care of things). If my car broke down, my dad fixed it. If there were appointments to be made, my mom made the arrangements. If I needed a dress for the dance, my sister provided one. Do you see a pattern here?? I think this is one reason losing weight has been so hard for me – I don’t know how to fight my own battles. I keep thinking that it will just work itself out, but 11 years later, it hasn’t. I hoped WW would fix it for me, but I didn’t realize that I had to actually MAKE AN EFFORT. The same with everything else I have tried. I do okay at first, but when the going gets tough, or when I lose my motivation, I have nothing to draw on to get me going again. And when things do go wrong, my reaction is one of “this can’t be happening to me.” So once again I find myself in a slump – not wanting to run, wanting to eat myself into oblivion, etc etc etc. I have to learn how to fight.
I did some playing around on the internet with various calorie counters and calorie burn counters and have figured out that if I want to lose one pound per week, I need to eat less than 1500 calories and burn 200 calories every day.
There it is. That’s the battle plan.

My first thought when I got these figures was, “well Jill, now you know how to do it. So how are you going to do it???”

I have to fight my own battle. Crap. The princess can no longer wait for her knight in armor to do all the heavy lifting.

I’m not one to make posters or write motivating notes to myself and stick them all over the house. The eye rolls I would get from my family would be overwhelming. But I need something to help push me through the doldrums, something to push me through the “I don’t wanna’s”, push through the “I’m too tired”, push through the “I don’t have time”excuse. A motto maybe? A mantra?

PUSH THROUGH IT.

Okay, there, that’s it. PUSH THROUGH IT. That will be my new go-to phrase. A sort of battle cry, if you will.
But what else can I add to my arsenal? What do you all do when you need a push?

September 28, 2007

 I was thinking the other day about why it is so easy for some people to lose weight and so hard for me.  Well, if I am going to be totally honest with myself, it is because while I really want to be healthy and slim, I don’t want to do the things that go along with it.  There. I said it.  I don’t want to change my habits.  I like eating sweets and watching movies on the couch for 2 or 3 hours.  I like reading a book all afternoon.  I like to eat casseroles and brownies.  I don’t like to sweat.  I don’t like spending and hour on the treadmill and I don’t want to have to drive 20 minutes to the nearest walking trail.  I live on a dead end street out in the country, and to walk up and down the road is about as boring as being on the treadmill.  I feel clumsy and awkward doing work out DVDs, so I avoid those like the plague.  I don’t want to take diet pills, or go to meetings, or cut out entire food groups.  Yeah, I know I sound like a spoiled brat, digging in my heels and being stubborn to the detriment of no one but myself.  But that’s how I feel. 

So having said that, I still really want to be happy in this body, and that means getting rid of some of this fat.  Actually, I do love this body, just not the fat that covers it.  So what do I do?  I’m not far enough along in my body acceptance journey to just be happy with what I’ve got, and honestly, I don’t think I ever will be as long as I am this out of shape.  How do I motivate myself to make changes that I don’t want to make?  How do I convince my brain that exercising is more fun than say, sitting at the computer and reading blogs for hours?    I’m just curious if there is anyone out there who started out this way, but overcame their own stubborn will and is now a healthy and happy person.  If you are out there, I would love to hear from you, so feel free to offer any advice you’ve got.  Thanks and have a great weekend!